I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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