A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
