I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
