You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
