dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
