I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
