How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
