when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize