I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
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He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize