You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
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The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Oh god it's open bar.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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