TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
