For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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