This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
