I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
