kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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