i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
