would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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