Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
