i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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