Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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