no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
