i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
