I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
