mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
wrigley field is MILF paradise
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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