tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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