I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
