White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My feet surprised me
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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