she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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