dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
