So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Never underestimate the power of titties
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
