That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Text me some of your sweat
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
