This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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