I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
