She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
