This show inspires me to have sex in space
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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