She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
