what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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