can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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