I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
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Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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