I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it hurts more in the daytime
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
