I think I died a long time ago.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
