I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
