chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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