help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
