Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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