Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
