No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
