Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
