I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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