I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is wine microwaveable?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
