I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
