I just threw up on my dentist
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize