He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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