I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
