i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
