I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
