he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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