By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize