U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize