I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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