I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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