six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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