Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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